Understanding Why You Are Who You Are with Dr. Stephen Porges and Luke Iorio

Who are you and what makes you whole? Do you have triggers such as sounds or scents that remind you of a familiar feeling? Why do you look at the world the way you do? So many of your questions can be answered by scientist and Professor of Psychiatry, Dr. Stephen Porges, whose current work is unlocking the ways we can see another side of ourselves–our truest form.

Stephen is a distinguished University scientist at Indiana University where he’s the Founding Director of the Traumatic Stress Research Consortium. He’s a Professor of Psychiatry at the University of North Carolina and Professor Emeritus at the University of Illinois at Chicago as well as the University of Maryland. Stephen has served as president of the Society for Psychophysiological Research and the Federation of Associations in Behavioral & Brain Sciences. He’s a former recipient of the National Institute of Mental Health Research Scientist Development Award.

Stephen has published more than 300 peer-reviewed articles and in 1994 he first proposed and pioneered the Polyvagal Theory, a theory that links the evolution of the mammalian autonomic nervous system to social behavior and emphasizes the importance of the physiological state in the expression of behavioral problems and psychiatric disorders.

Listen in and learn more about who you are–more now than ever!

Kay Takeaways:

Butterfly effect. Did you know we go through three evolutionary stages directly linked to those of vertebrates? To be clear, mammals are vertebrate and humans are mammals. The correlation between the two is eye-opening on how it affects your physiological state, let alone your health. Your THREE transformative stages are . . . [13:41].

Tranquility zone. Did you know that you have triggers that give you a sense of security? The sounds of certain music or someone’s voice are a couple of them. All your senses slowly drop, as do your defenses. There are simple ways to develop this sense of safety in ourselves and in others, start HERE . . . [25:34].

Connection boost. Did you know there’s no such thing as winning an argument? Once a person becomes physical–such as crossing their arms or retracting in some way–the conversation is over and therefore, the discussion is over. Winning isn’t an option. To strengthen any relationship–work, home, social–give these TWO evaluation methods a try . . . [39:44].

Tune in and turn the volume up for a dose of inspiration and life lessons. You’re never more than One Idea Away from a whole, new reality.

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Luke Iorio is President of The Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC) and has graduated thousands of coaches, leaders, athletes, and professionals across 44 countries, all of whom share his vision and desire for expanding our human potential and creating lasting, conscious change. He has been quoted in The Huffington Post, Fox Business, and Next Avenue, and is currently taking to the airwaves on the One Idea Away Podcast to entertain life’s pivotal questions with the help of celebrated thought leaders, mentors, and everyday unsung heroes.

Feedback without Criticism

I have yet to meet a person who likes criticism. Instead, what most of us do is contract inside when we hear a criticism. Sometimes we respond defensively, sometimes we add the criticism to our pile of self-judgment, and sometimes we deflect and ignore what’s being said. In the process, we rarely manage to make use of the vital information and opportunities that useful feedback can provide: learning, better teamwork, or simply insight and understanding.

Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex

In his classic guide to understanding the opposite sex, Dr. John Gray, provides a practical and proven way for men and women to improve their communication and relationships by acknowledging the differences between them.

Once upon a time Martians and Venusians met, fell in love, and had happy relationships together because they respected and accepted their differences. Then they came to Earth and amnesia set in: they forgot they were from different planets.

Based on years of successful counseling of couples and individuals, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus has helped millions of couples transform their relationships. Now viewed as a modern classic, this timeless book has helped men and women realize how different they can be in their communication styles, their emotional needs, and their modes of behavior, and offers the secrets of communicating without conflicts, allowing couples to give intimacy every chance to grow.

Thom Bond: “Teaching Compassion at Scale” | Talks at Google

Thom Bond, founder New York Center for Nonviolent Communication (NYCNVC), visited Google MTV to discuss the Compassion Course Online (compassioncourse.org). Since 2011, more than 12,000 people in 110 countries have learned to communicate compassionately through this year-long course. As a Massive Open Online Course (MOOC), it grows in participation every year and is now offered in four languages, funded entirely through donations.

Moderated by Earl J. Wagner, Google’s local Compassionate Communication trainer and Google engineer.

Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well

We get feedback every day of our lives, from friends and family, colleagues, customers, and bosses, teachers, doctors, and strangers.  We’re assessed, coached, and criticized about our performance, personalities, and appearance.

We know that feedback is essential for professional development and healthy relationships—but we dread it and often dismiss it.  That’s because receiving feedback sits at the junction of two conflicting human desires. We want to learn and grow, but we also want to be accepted and respected just as we are now.  Thanks for the Feedback is the first book to address this tension head on.  It explains why getting feedback is so crucial yet so challenging and offers a simple framework and powerful tools to help us take on life’s blizzard of offhand comments, annual evaluations, and unsolicited advice with curiosity and grace.

The business world spends billions of dollars and millions of hours each year teaching people how to give feedback more effectively.  Stone and Heen argue that we’ve got it backwards and show us why the smart money is on educating receivers – in the workplace as well as in personal relationships. It’s the receivers, after all, who interpret what they’re hearing and decide whether and how to change.

Coauthors of the international bestseller Difficult Conversations, Stone and Heen have discovered that while receiving feedback can be fraught, doing it well can be taught.  With humor and clarity, the book blends the latest insights from neuroscience and psychology with practical, hard-headed advice. It is destined to become a classic in the world of leadership, organizational behavior, and education.

Neuroception: A Subconscious System for Detecting Threats and Safety

The author describes recent findings on the neurobiological mechanisms involved in perceptions of risk and safety. The term “Neuroception” describes how neural circuits distinguish whether situations or people are safe, dangerous, or life threatening. Neuroception explains why a baby coos at a caregiver but cries at a stranger, or why a toddler enjoys a parent’s embrace but views a hug from a stranger as an assault. The author explains the Polyvagal Theory, which posits that mammals–especially primates–have evolved brain structures that regulate both social and defensive behaviors. The Polyvagal Theory describes three developmental stages of a mammal’s autonomic nervous system: immobilization, mobilization, and social communication or social engagement. A neuroception of safety is necessary before social engagement behaviors can occur. Infants, young children, and adults need appropriate social engagement strategies in order to form positive attachments and social bonds. Faulty neuroception might lie at the root of several psychiatric disorders, including autism, schizophrenia, anxiety disorders, depression, and Reactive Attachment Disorder.

The Tyranny of Words

The pioneering and still essential text on semantics, urging readers to improve human communication and understanding with precise, concrete language.

In 1938, Stuart Chase revolutionized the study of semantics with his classic text, The Tyranny of Words. Decades later, this eminently useful analysis of the way we use words continues to resonate. A contemporary of the economist Thorstein Veblen and the author Upton Sinclair, Chase was a social theorist and writer who despised the imprecision of contemporary communication. Wide-ranging and erudite, this iconic volume was one of the first to condemn the overuse of abstract words and to exhort language users to employ words that make their ideas accurate, complete, and readily understood.

Science and Sanity: An Introduction to Non-Aristotelian Systems and General Semantics

Selections from Science and Sanity represents Alfred Korzybski’s authorized abridgement of his magnum opus, Science and Sanity: An Introduction to Non-Aristotelian Systems and General Semantics. This second edition, published in response to the recent Korzybski revival, adds new introductory material and a revised index, providing an accessible introduction to Korzybski’s arguments concerning the need for a non-Aristotelian approach to knowledge, thought, perception, and language, to coincide with our non-Newtonian physics and non-Euclidean geometries, to Korzybski’s practical philosophy, applied psychology, pragmatics of human communication, and educational program. Selections from Science and Sanity serves as an excellent introduction to general semantics as a system intended to aid the individual’s adjustment to reality, enhance intellectual and creative activities, and alleviate the many social ills that have plagued humanity throughout our history.

Language in Thought and Action

Renowned professor and former U.S. Senator S. I. Hayakawa discusses the role of language in human life, the many functions of language, and how language – sometimes without our knowing – shapes our thinking in this engaging and highly respected book. Provocative and erudite, it examines the relationship between language and racial and religious prejudice; the nature and dangers of advertising from a linguistic point of view; and, in an additional chapter called The Empty Eye, the content, form, and hidden message of television, from situation comedies to news coverage to political advertising.

The Power of Building the Best Product in Your Market with SiteGround’s Tenko Nikolov

Foundr Magazine Podcast EP136: The Power of Building the Best Product in Your Market with SiteGround’s Tenko Nikolov

For as long as he can remember, Tenko Nikolov has been obsessed with computers. From his very first computer at the age of 7, he fell in love with the simple green and black screen and was fascinated with all that this technology could offer.

Of course, he also got into some trouble, even accidentally hacking into a large US corporation’s network with a friend at the age of 13. After a few days of fun messing with their systems and bragging to their friends, the duo eventually sent an email to the company letting them know what they did and how they did it.

The next few days were agonizing as they waited for a response, petrified that an FBI agent would be showing up to his doorstep in Bulgaria. To his surprise, however, the company reached out, thanked them for finding a security loophole and even asked them how much they’d like to be paid for finding it in the first place.

“I realized that I can actually be paid for the thing that I love to do most,” Nikolov says.

Instead of asking for payment, Nikolov asked for his own server that he could play around with. After getting his first taste of entrepreneurship, he began seeing how far he could push the limits of computer technology. Looking back at it now, Nikolov pinpoints this as the exact moment that led him to develop SiteGround, a web-hosting server and provider.

But what makes SiteGround stand out from the thousands of competitors out there, is Nikolov’s dedication to innovating.